Stanley Place - B.C. Park : A City Rallies !

[TransistorSister]

Shouting to be heard over a blinding snowstorm, a confused work crew began constructing a teflon roof over storm-damaged Stanley Park yesterday morning.

"We hope to have the roof installed in time for the benefit concert" said Parks board commissioner Allan de Genova. TransistorSister has learned that the concert is slated for April or May, and will feature a headliner who "fits very well with Vancouver... It's very important we have Stanley Park match up with the artists" added de Genova.

The Woodenheads, Styx and Twiggy are said to be the frontrunners.

Meanwhile -- over at B.C. Place -- forestry workers began taking chainsaws to several water-damaged luxury suites. The work continued unabated while homeless squatters helped themselves to cold beer from the suites' courtesy bars.

A spokesman for B.C. Place who preferred to remain anonymous said that he's been getting e-mails from all over the globe from people who are upset at what's happened to the venue. He added that steps are underway to remove all the fallen trees that currently litter the floor of Vancouver's crown jewel.

When told that Stanley Park is commonly thought to be the city's crown jewel, the spokesman replied, "We actually share the "crown jewel" designation with Vancouver, but only when the Fraser Valley Auto Mall and Pigeon Park aren't using it."

B.C. billionaire Jimmy Pattison is putting up a million dollars to save the place his heart calls home.

"I was raised in B.C. Place", the Vancouver Tycoon told TransistorSister yesterday.

As an only child, Pattison said, he went for summer picnics in the stadium with his parents. He learned business there, selling used popcorn in the stands while riding a unicycle up and down the stairwells.