Top Ten Things Overheard at Philip Till's Alouette Lake Newscruise Bash
# 10. No, that's not a brush fire. Philip just sparked up an after dinner stogie.
# 9. I forgot to bring a flyswatter. Can I borrow your badminton racquet?
# 8. Oh, that is Phillip Till? Thank God, for a minute there I thought I was seeing double.
# 7. I haven't been this close to a real celebrity since Shell Busey autographed a piece of sandpaper for me at Home Depot last year.
# 6. Hey Philip - Is that your marshmallow-roasting stick, or are you just glad to see me?
# 5. I'm feeling a little nauseous. Anyone know how much Doc Hister charges for a lake call?
# 4. This barbequed roadkill tastes exactly what I imagine chicken would taste like if it was hit by a semi doing 120 km on a winding highway !
# 3. Okay - Who's the wiseacre who poured mosquito repellent into my margarita?
# 2. Call it a barbeque pit if you wish, mate - it looked like a ruddy urinal to me.
# 1. Philip's going to cannonball into the lake - Everybody, run for your lives !
Philip is taking a couple of weeks off for a well-earned vacation - and so am I. Join us again in two weeks time when we present Top Ten Reasons Why The Morning News with Philip Till Sucks. Aloha !