VANOC Needs More Bumbling Oafs To Work As Security Guards

VANOC Needs More Bumbling Oafs To Work As Security Guards

Postby TransistorSister » Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:08 am

VANOC Still Needs More Bumbling Oafs To Work As Security Guards


VANOC announced today that they were still looking for at least 500 more stupid fat oafs to work as security guards at Olympics venues.

"These jobs would appeal to men and women who are not qualified to do anything else" said a spokesperson for VANOC, "Our criteria is if you have a pulse, you're in."

Many of Vancouver's own stupid fat oafs are missing out on a great opportunity because they are functionally illiterate and unable to read the many newspaper classifieds advertising these jobs.

But that hasn't stopped stupid fat oafs across the country from flocking to the city, eager to join the frontline of Olympics-styled Homeland Security.

"Newly hired oafs will perform a number of duties, none of which require anything other than the basic motor skills needed to wave a security wand in the faces of startled visitors" said the spokesperson.

"Are you able to print an 'x' on an application form?" he continued ... "Call us."
User avatar
TransistorSister
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:19 pm

Return to Non Radio Related Topics

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 90 guests